Some people try to get around it by taking a car, bus or train. That can add hours or days to a trip, depending on your destination. This is . . . → Read More: Anxiety and Fear of Flying and Hope for Overcoming this Fear]]> Is fear of flying keeping you from the life you want? The anxiety of fear of flying can wreak havoc on vacations and business travel.

Some people try to get around it by taking a car, bus or train. That can add hours or days to a trip, depending on your destination. This is not always practical or even possible.

Another way that people try to get around the anxiety of fear of flying, is to pick vacation destinations closer to home. That does not work, of course, if your loved ones are far away and you want to visit them during your vacation.

Often, people will ask their doctor for medication for use on their travel day. These can be effective. However, that does not end the needless and constant worry and fear that kicks in, the minute you start planning your flight.

It doesn’t have to be this way. Anxiety and fear of flying are very treatable. There are many ways to treat it, depending on the situation and your unique needs.

Cognitive behavioral methods are very effective for fear of flying and anxiety. This involves systematically working with your thoughts, to dispute unhelpful ways of perceiving things, and replacing them with more realistic thoughts.

Overall stress management techniques are very helpful. These can lower your overall stress and anxiety level, making it much easier to cope. This general increase in calmness can transfer over to better coping with the stress and anxiety of flying.

Exposure is also very effective. This might involve  exposing yourself to situations similar to flying, such as sitting in a bus or train, if you are concerned about being stuck on a plane with no way out for the duration of the flight. Taking short flights with a supportive companion, while leading up to the long flight on your own, is another way of gradually exposing yourself to flying and feeling more comfortable with it.

There are also specific on the spot relaxation techniques to use, to help quell anxiety and fear during the trip. It can be so much easier to go through with the flight,  knowing you have tools at hand to use as needed.

There is no need to suffer with anxiety and fear of flying, since so many effective treatments are available. There are many therapists available who can help you master this fear, and expand your horizons by being able to fly when you need to or want to.

I hope this short article helps to give hope to those suffering, so they will reach out and get help.

Warmly,

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based therapist in Marina del Rey. She helps people who struggle with anxiety, fears and panic attacks, and stressful life changes. Kate is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic#MFC20851. Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Venice, Culver City, Santa Monica, Inglewood, West Los Angeles, and Westchester.

Let’s say your initial panic attack involved a rapid . . . → Read More: Reducing Panic by Re-interpreting Physical Signs]]> If you have had a panic attack, it is understandable that you might start fearfully watching for the next one to strike.  One of the ways this might affect your life, is that you start interpreting normal physical sensations as the next impending panic attack.

Let’s say your initial panic attack involved a rapid heart beat, profuse sweating,  or hyperventilation.  What are some normal situations which might cause these same physical reactions? How about running, working out at the gym, or sexual excitement?

So, let’s say you are starting to enjoy these activities, but as soon as your physical reactions kick in, you start panicking, because it reminds you of a panic attack? This causes great anxiety and fear, and may cause you to cease the enjoyable activities.

What if the panic attacks you have had made you feel woozy, and your legs felt all wobbly like jello? Are there other situations that may bring this on? How about after a workout, or when you haven’t eaten and need nourishment?  What if you could consciously decide you are wobbly because you need some rest or something to eat? May that help calm your anxiety?

What if your panic attacks have started with shaky hands? And now you are about to give a presentation at work, and your hands are shaking?  Does this have to be interpreted as a panic attack coming on, or can it be simply the natural anxiety and excitement that many people feel before public speaking?

It is important to have your health checked out by a medical practitioner, if your panic symptoms resemble a medical condition.  Once you have a clean bill of health, the challenge is to remind yourself that “this is not a medical emergency, it is just panic, and it will pass.”  The purpose of this article is to suggest taking it a step further, to “maybe this isn’t panic; maybe it is a normal physical reaction and I don’t have to brace myself for an impending panic attack.”

To shift your mind toward more enjoyment in life, and less worrying that a panic attack is just over the horizon, try to look at your interpretations and normalize them.

Maybe you have just met a new romantic interest, and you feel your little heart going pitter patter. Why take the enjoyment out of the moment by comparing this to how your heart races during a panic attack?

Maybe you are running or working out, and having sensations that remind you of the panic attacks you had. You could consciously tell yourself, “this is how it feels to be strong and capable, working out and feeling the physical sensations that go along with it.”

You get the idea…so have fun now playing with interpretations of your own, to make your moments more enjoyable and less fearful.

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based therapist in Marina del Rey. She helps people who struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life transitions. Kate is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic.#MFC20851. Nearby communities are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Venice, Culver City, Santa Monica, West Los Angeles, Inglewood, and Westchester.

Panic attacks are very treatable. This article is not meant to replace . . . → Read More: Embarrassment over Panic Attacks and Ways to Overcome It]]> Panic attacks can seem to come out of the blue. When and where the next panic attack might occur can be unpredictable.  Understandably, the fear that it might next occur in public can lead to the fear of it being extremely embarrassing.

Panic attacks are very treatable. This article is not meant to replace therapy. It is meant to give some hope and some ideas about how others have dealt with the fear of being embarrassed.

Fear of being embarrassed by a panic attack can become more frightening than the fear of the panic itself. This fear can begin causing someone to limit their activities, staying home more and more, or only getting out in situations that feel very safe. Going this route can become a slippery slope toward agoraphobia.

Fretting over “what if” scenarios, the mind can go into overdrive, imagining worse case scenarios that may not ever happen. It may be helpful simply to ask yourself, “how likely is that to happen?” and “if it did, could I find a way to deal with it?”

Following are a few scenarios that people fear a panic attack could happen in, and their fear of how it could embarrass them.

Walking down the street: “What if I am walking down the street and I have a panic attack? What if I get light headed and my legs get all jello like, and I feel like I will pass out?  I will have to sit down, and everyone will stare at me. I couldn’t stand to have all those people stare at me like I am some kind of weirdo.”

You could ask yourself how likely it is that you would have a panic attack, and how likely it is that everyone would stare. You could ask yourself if you would be able to deal with everyone staring, if they did.

You could also ask yourself if you are such a mind reader, that you know for a fact they think you are weird. Is it possible that they might feel concern, and are watching to see if you get up okay on your own?

Is it possible that nobody would stare, because people are going about their business and don’t notice anything unusual about someone sitting down? One way to test this out is to go out for a walk in public and then see if there are places to sit down. You could even try sitting down for a little bit to see if anyone notices. This could possibly help stop the worry that it would be embarrassing.

Airplane Trip: “What if I have a panic attack on the airplane, and my seat mate notices? They will think I am crazy.”

You could ask yourself what your particular panic attacks “look like” and how likely it is that your seatmate would notice.

Some people who suffer with anxiety and panic with tell their seat mate up front that they have trouble flying.  Then it is out in the open, and you will find out what your seat mate thinks.

Chances are, they may become a friendly ally, who can help distract you with conversation, if that is what you want.  Chances are, they may offer understanding and tell you they know someone who also struggles.

In a restaurant with friends: “What if I have a panic attack in the restaurant and have to leave, or it causes a scene? I could’t stand all that attention, with everyone staring at me. ”

Some people deal with this by telling their friends up front that they worry about having a panic attack in the restaurant. That could lead to them expressing concern and support, and asking how they can help you if it does happen. That in itself may dispel the fear of being embarrassed, and take the edge off the anxiety. It could lead to a more relaxed dinner over all, and make a panic attack less likely to happen.

Some people deal with the restaurant situation by having contingency plans to use,  just in case. That may include getting up to go to the restroom, which gives a little break from the situation. They may then do some calming breaths or stretching to calm themselves. They may also give themselves permission to leave if they have to, telling their friends they are suddenly ill.

I hope these few tips will  get you thinking about ways to be able to keep getting out there, and not becoming a shut in because of fear of embarrassing yourself. So no matter what worse case scenario you imagine, ask yourself if this fear really justifies cancelling your plans and staying home. And hopefully tell yourself, “Being embarrassed won’t kill me. Being embarrassed is something I am willing to risk in order to get out and do things.”

Kate Boswell MFT is a therapist in Marina del Rey who helps people struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life situations. Kate is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. No MFC20851. Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Venice, Culver City, Westchester, Santa Monica, and West Los Angeles.

It may sound strange, but the paradox is that the harder you try to keep . . . → Read More: Overcoming Panic Attacks through Exposure and Acceptance]]> If you are suffering with panic or anxiety attacks, you understandably wish to never ever have another one again. It is such a terrifying thing to go through, all you want is fast answers that will stop them forever.

It may sound strange, but the paradox is that the harder you try to keep panic attacks at bay, the more power they have over you. That is not to say, however, that banishing them forever should not be the goal. In fact, it is entirely possible to do so.

Panic attacks usually seem to come out of the blue. They are very frightening and can resemble heart attacks and other scary medical issues. Once the doctor has given you a clean bill of health, and you know your symptoms are not dangerous, you can focus on treating the attacks, rather than worrying about medical concerns.

Because they seem to come out of nowhere, as a surprise attack, understandably you will feel very powerless and afraid of them.  One way to gain more power over them is to give up your fear of them. That is easier said than done, of course!

An overall treatment program may include stress reduction, to reduce your overall anxiety level, and calming techniques to help survive or stave off any new panic attacks. In addition, acceptance and exposure may be used.

By accepting that panic attacks may continue to recur during your road to recovery, you are not as caught off guard by them if and when they happen. You can arm yourself with tools to help ride them out.

A step beyond acceptance would be deliberate exposure to them, through a technique called interoceptive exposure. This is usually done in the office of a therapist, once they have built a trusting relationship with you.

In this situation, you would attempt to bring on the symptoms, and then ride them out, in a safe environment. You would also practice calming yourself and ending the attack before it gets too strong, building up your confidence in being able to do so.

The irony is that often when you actively invite a panic attack, it does not appear. That is likely because you have then shifted the power balance, putting yourself in charge, rather than being a victim of the dreaded surprise attack.

Exposure and acceptance are not the only ways to work with panic, but they are effective, and should at least be considered.

I hope this information helps to give you hope in your journey to end panic and anxiety attacks.

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based therapist in Marina del Rey. She helps people who struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life changes. Kate is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #MFC20851. Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Venice, Culver City, Santa Monica, Westchester, and West Los Angeles.

“If you focus on what you have, you will end up having more. If you focus on . . . → Read More: Can Anxiety be Reduced through Gratitude?]]> ” I live in the space of thankfulness-and I have been rewarded a million times over for it……Opportunities, relationships, even money flowed my way when I learned to be grateful no matter what happened in my life.”

“If you focus on what you have, you will end up having more. If you focus on what you lack, you’ll never have enough.”

-Oprah Winfrey

I am not sure if or how this works. I do not know if there is a metaphysical law operating which rewards gratitude with more of what we want, in the material realm.

What I do know, from a mental health perspective, is that feeling grateful does bring more peace of mind and contentment.  That is not to say we should not be aware of problems and strive to correct them. It has to do with how we focus our thoughts most of the time.

What we choose to focus our attention on does expand. When we focus on our worries and fears, we become more anxious. If we focus on our strengths, we feel more empowered and able to tackle the challenge at hand.

For example, if you have had some experience with calming yourself, you can focus on that, rather than how worried you are, and allow your calming abilities to grow and expand.

If you are striving to overcome a particular fear, focusing on past success, no matter how small, may give you the confidence and courage to have more success.

If you struggle with social anxiety, or even being painfully shy, you may want to focus more on your social strengths. Is there even one close friend who you cherish? You could focus on feeling grateful for this person you value, and remember that at least one person enjoys your company.

When you go to a social event, focusing on what you want less of may look like this: “I just know my shyness will keep me from mixing in, and it will be another miserable, lonely, failed opportunity to meet people.”

You just might have more fun at the social event by trying on these ways of thinking: “I look forward to an opportunity to get a little more practice in socializing.” “I am grateful for this opportunity and this challenge.” “I do have some good friends and really do appreciate them.” “It will be fun to meet new people and listen to their ideas.”

I hope these ideas help you in some small way with reducing your anxiety.  On Thanksgiving, and every day, try to make a habit of checking in with what’s right with you, and finding some area to be grateful for.

I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving, with at least one thing to feel grateful about.

Warmly,

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #MFC 20851. She helps people get beyond anxiety and panic, to live fuller lives. She also helps people who are struggling with stressful life transitions. Her Marina del Rey psychotherapy practice is conveniently located near Venice, Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Mar Vista,  Culver City, West Los Angeles,  and Westchester.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” -Socrates

My own . . . → Read More: Anxiety and Stress Overload]]> Are you on stress overload from being too busy? Is having too much to do adding to your anxiety? Being busy and productive is one thing, but being chronically over busy is something to take stock of, to see what other options there are.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.” -Socrates

My own take on this is that Socrates was talking about being overly busy, the kind of being busy that leads to stress overload and anxiety, rather than to more meaning in our lives.

When we are busy enough, doing the things that matter, our lives can feel balanced and we feel content. Sometimes we may need to stretch ourselves, for specific periods of time, to do more, in order to reach a particular goal, or do what is needed to get through an ordeal.

When we are overly busy during these specific types of times, we can turn our anxiety into  feeling excited and proud of our accomplishments, knowing this period will not last forever.

We also will be busier during natural transitions in life, such as having a new baby in the house, studying for finals, or the learning curve of a new job.  Then when that period is over, we can relax and just be busy enough again.

Being too busy chronically can add to anxiety. On the other hand, it can be self imposed, with the unspoken goal of being too busy to think or have quiet time. After all, when the busy whirlwind stops, we may then think of things we are uncomfortable about, and not up to changing. It is easier to not think about it.

When we are quiet, we may feel the angst of some situation that we feel stuck with. Or maybe guilt about some direction we wished we had taken and hadn’t. The quietness in a way may make us more anxious, as we sit alone with ourselves.

One way around this is to just sit with the discomfort, and be willing to listen to your inner yearnings. You may then become aware of something you would like to change, or ways to feel your life is more meaningful. It may lead to doing more, with the idea you would need to let go of some of the self imposed “overly busy schedule” in order to meet these meaningful goals.

I hope this short article is helpful to you, in giving you another way of looking at your own stress overload and anxiety.

Warmly,

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based licensed therapist in Marina del Rey. She helps people who struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life changes. Kate is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic. #MFC20851. Communities served by her practice are Marina del Rey, Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Venice, Culver City, Santa Monica, West Los Angeles, and Westchester.

We may feel anxious and fearful, as we step from the comfort of the known, into the unknown . . . → Read More: Taming Anxiety During Transitions]]> As we navigate various life transitions, anxiety can sometimes become overwhelming. Natural transitions, such as finishing college, entering the work world, getting a promotion, or facing retirement or the empty nest, can feel foreign or unnatural.

We may feel anxious and fearful, as we step from the comfort of the known, into the unknown and scary future. “What will it be like?” “What if it is too hard?” “What if I get it all wrong?” We often feel an aching for the past, and feel like a lonely misfit in the new role.

Here are a few tips, which may help ease the anxiety of stepping into the as yet unknown territory of the new:

• acknowledge and accept how you are feeling.
• share your feelings with someone you trust.
• write your uncensored thoughts in a private journal.
• look out for the “shoulds”—judgements about how you “should” be feeling.
• give yourself credit for having the courage to go through this life change.
• remember, this is uncharted territory for you, so feeling a bit lost at sea may be the most natural and appropriate reaction.
• get more information about this stage you are facing, and the common pitfalls which may be expected.
• find out how others have coped, by talking with someone who has been through it, or by reading up on it, in books or online.
• allow yourself to daydream, imagining some possible best case scenarios about how it could all end up.
• see if you can shift from anxiety and worry, to a sense of curiosity and wonder -”I wonder how this will all turn out? “
• try starting a daily practice of some type of calming exercise-see examples at http://2bstressfree.com
• consider joining a support group or seeing a therapist if you could use more support for managing anxiety.

I hope these few tips help in some small way to lessen your anxiety while going through a life change.

Peace,

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based therapist in Marina del Rey. She helps people who struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life changes.Kate is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic.#MFC20851. Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Culver City, Venice, Santa Monica, West Los Angles, and Westchester.

“Dating never works out for me.”

“Friendships just don’t go well for me. I end up betrayed or abandoned.”

“I always get . . . → Read More: Anxiety, CBT, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves]]> The stories we carry in our head can keep us anxious and stuck in old patterns. This keeps us in the past, and prevents us from creating fresh new realities for ourselves.

“Dating never works out for me.”

“Friendships just don’t go well for me. I end up betrayed or abandoned.”

“I always get too nervous to enjoy new places.”

“I always panic when I try to drive somewhere.”

One of the keys to putting these patterns behind us, is to examine and challenge these beliefs. In fact, this is one of the cornerstones of CBT, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

These statements can be examined by asking yourself some of these questions.

“Is this 100 percent true, each and every time?”

“Have their been any exceptions?”

“What were some of the exceptions?”

“To the degree that they are true, how do I contribute to keeping it so?”

“Can I try something different, to break the pattern?”

You can also help break up the pattern by imagining yourself successful, in some of the situations  you want to do better in. Relax, daydream, imagine yourself enjoying a new way. Use all your senses to imagine it as real. Remember how this felt, as you go about to create new ways to be in the world.

Peace,

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based therapist in Marina del Rey. She helps people who are struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life changes. Kate is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic.#MFC20851. Nearby communities served are  Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Venice, Culver City, Santa Monica, West Los Angeles, and Westchester.

This idea of Summer Depression got me thinking about how people with anxiety disorders will sometimes become depressed. It can become quite depressing . . . → Read More: Anxiety and the Summertime Blues]]> A recent New York Times article talked about Summer Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It explained that it is the opposite of Winter SAD, which is largely related to lack of sunshine.

This idea of Summer Depression got me thinking about how people with anxiety disorders will sometimes become depressed. It can become quite depressing to have your life limited by anxiety, which keeps you from enjoying life fully, or pursuing your goals.

I got to thinking about how summer can bring fresh new “opportunities” for an anxious person to feel even more limited, and therefore have more to get depressed about.

I have not seen any statistics on this. It is just a line of thought triggered by the New York times article, and my experience working with people who struggle with anxiety.

Here are a few “opportunities” which come to mind, for feeling limited, anxious and depressed:

• fear of flying may keep you grounded, while others are having fun planning their vacations far away.
• feeling you are too busy at work to take a well deserved and needed vacation–”what if I get too far behind and they fire me?”
• if your anxiety shows itself as OCD, planning a vacation may stir up fears of being away from your routine, or getting exposed to more germs.
• if your anxiety shows itself as agoraphobia, and you limit yourself to certain comfort zones, summer may bring more fun events you wish you could enjoy, and more sadness while feeling left out and limited.
• the quiet little seaside town you live in is being over run by tourists, and all the commotion feels overwhelming; so you withdraw even more.
• you may be embarrassed or anxious about being seen in a swimsuit, so you miss out on the fun of cooling down in the pool or ocean.
• if you suffer from general anxiety, and tend to worry a lot,  you may put a damper on enjoying your vacation, with worried thoughts–”I really shouldn’t be spending this money” “what if I get sick or injured?” “what if I end up homeless?”

If you do suffer from anxiety, you will probably be able to add quite a few things to this short list. You may wonder why most people seem to enjoy summer so much, and feel sad that you can’t, too.

The good news is, it doesn’t really have to be this way. Anxiety and depression are both highly treatable. They are both highly related to how we think and interpret the world around us. They both can also be affected by our general sense of well being, related to our diets, exercise and sleep patterns.

Usually doing anything to break up the pattern can start creating inroads for change. The “anything” may be related to making changes in your physical habits, or in how you think and respond to things that happen.

Making a decision to eat better, get a moderate amount of regular exercise, and getting enough sleep, can go a long way toward feeling better in general, and having the stamina to cope.

Working with your thoughts can be done with self help books or with a therapist. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy recognizes that it is our thoughts that shape our feelings and moods. There are techniques and exercises you can learn, to understand your thinking better, and to begin to change it.

If you are suffering with anxiety, and sad about how limited your life has become, you may want to check out some of the self help books recommended on my web site. If you need more support, do not hesitate to seek out a therapist.

I hope this article helps you in some small way to get started on your journey.

Peace,

Kate

Kate Boswell MFT is a Los Angeles based therapist, in  Marina del Rey. She helps people who struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, and stressful life changes. Kate is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, LIC#MFC 20851. Nearby communities served are  Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Culver City, Venice, Westchester, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Santa Monica, and West Los Angeles.