Remembering My Courageous (and Anxious) Mom on Veteran's Day

Introducing my Mom and a Monument in the Park

My Mom was a WWII veteran who lived a long life after the war.

There is a monument to fallen soldiers in Santa Monica which reminds me of her, even though she did not fight or die in the war.

In the Palisades Park in Santa Monica, CA there are four monuments, each dedicated to the fallen members of one of the four branches of the U.S. military.

The monument for the Coast Guard has this inscription:

"Dedicated to the members of the U.S. Coast Guard who have given their all so that others may live in freedom."
"Semper Paratus"

My Mom had a few fears which limited her life in some ways. She was also a habitual worry wort.

 My memories of her fears go all the way back to my childhood.

She was afraid of heights, afraid to go swimming, and was somewhat anxious socially and easily embarrassed.

When we kids were little, on beach trips she would stand near the edge of the water with us, ankle deep, having fun running from the approaching waves with us.

When we were old enough to go deeper into the water, it was Dad who would get in the water with us. Mom stayed on our picnic blanket watching, and most likely worrying.

On the rare occasions that Dad drove us to the mountains, Mom worried during the whole drive.

Her anxiety was expressed by a steady stream of, "Look out!" "Be careful!" "Keep your eye on the road."

She was easily embarrassed and avoided some social situations so she would not "die of embarrassment."

Mom in the Coast Guard during WW2

When my Mom was very young, WW2 broke out. She wanted nothing more than to join the Coast Guard and serve her country during the war effort.

The first step was to visit a recruiter, in spite of her shyness. Her efforts were rewarded by being laughed at and told to go home and put on some weight. Her petite size had disqualified her.

Determined to join the Coast Guard, she drank milk shakes every day and gained enough weight to qualify.

After joining the Coast Guard, the next step was boot camp.  As part of her training, she had to jump off the high dive and swim.

 She was terrified of both, but she managed to do both. Her goal was important to her. She forced herself to push through the fear and do what had to be done.

After boot camp, she was assigned to a job.

 One of her job assignments was to measure men’s chests to determine what size uniform they would need. That embarrassed her to no end. But she did it.

The monument in Santa Monica to the Coast Guard is dedicated to those who "gave their all."
 I reflect on the many ways that those who survived, like my Mom, gave their all.

I can only imagine what it took out of my shy young Mom to face the recruiter again, after having been laughed at.

 I can only imagine what it took out of her to jump off the high dive and swim, in spite of her fear of heights and fear of swimming.

I can only imagine what it took out of her to measure the men’s chests for their uniforms, in spite of her shyness and embarrassment.

I am quite sure that there were many more instances in her day to day life in the Coast Guard that required her to give her all.

Returning to the Comfort Zone

Mom did not have to jump off high dives or swim after the war ended. I wonder if life may have been more enjoyable, though, if she had continued to swim.

 It might have made family trips to the beach more fun for her if she had been able to get in the water.

However, she only went back to her comfort zone in certain areas, such as avoiding heights, swimming, and some social situations.

New Challenges to Face Courageously (and Anxiously)

Adult life continued to bring many challenges and fears to be faced. She kept pushing through her fears, when necessary, to do what needed to be done.

It must not have been easy to be a Mom and a worry wort at the same time. I can think of many situations that must have taken all she had to get through.

It could not have been that easy for a shy person to go to school open houses and parent conferences.

It could not have been easy to allow her children to do all the daring things that kids and teenagers do, in spite of her worries.

To a large degree, she gave her all so that we could live in freedom. The freedom to be kids. The freedom to explore.

Maybe You, Too, are Courageous (and Anxious) Like My Mom

What about you?

Are there things you are afraid to do which keep you from reaching your goals?

If so, maybe you have forced yourself to do what had to be done to reach your goals.

Maybe you then went back into your comfort zone after your immediate goal was met.

Do you give yourself credit for the challenges you do face in spite of your fears?  To not be defined by the few limitations you do allow yourself?

Many people live a full life while avoiding some specific situations.

For example, someone who is afraid of snakes will simply avoid going on a hike. Their life does not feel limited because of this. There are plenty of other fun things to do.

If you fear something that keeps you from reaching an important goal, then it would make sense to find ways to overcome that fear.

Pushing through is one way. If you do something often enough, the anxiety and fear often wear themselves out.

It Could Be Easier, With Help

Pushing through is not always the easiest way to go. It can sometimes be too scary.

There are more gradual ways to get used to a scary situation. There are also mental planning strategies that can be done with the help of a therapist.

If your fears and anxieties are keeping you from what you want to do in life, you can work with a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

I am available in my private practice in Marina del Rey, Ca. 90292

Call me at (310) 658-3158 for a free 15 minute phone consult to discuss how we could work together.

​Kate Boswell is a therapist in Marina del Rey, CA. She helps anxious young men and women become calmer and more confident. She helps adults of all ages who are struggling with stressful life changes. From her Marina del Rey office, she serves the communities of Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Culver City, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Westchester, and Venice, California.  Kate is licensed by the state of California as a Marriage and Family Therapist, License No. MFC 20851. Contact Kate at (310) 658-3158 or through the contact page on her website at www.2bstressfree.com