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Do you worry that you would die of embarrassment if you had a panic attack in front of other people? Panic attacks can seem to come out of the blue. When and where the next panic attack might strike can be unpredictable. Understandably, you fear that it could happen in public, and that it would be extremely embarrassing for you. The fear of being embarrassed could be even more frightening than the fear of the panic attack itself. This fear might cause you to limit your activities, staying home more and more, or only getting out in situations where you feel very safe. Going this route can become a slippery slope toward agoraphobia. Your life would become more and more closed in. You would miss out on so much of what life has to offer. It doesn't have to be this way. I specialize in helping people with anxiety and panic. Here I will share a few tips on getting over embarrassment. These tips could give you ideas for getting out more, in spite of your anxious fears. Change How You Think About Panic and Being Embarrassed
Following are a few scenarios that some people fear a panic attack could happen in, and their fear of how it could embarrass them. Each example will include a coping strategy or two, for that situation. Fear of Having a Panic Attack While Walking Down the Street "What if I am walking down the street and have a panic attack? What if I get lightheaded and my legs get all rubbery, and I feel like I will pass out? I will have to sit down, and everyone will stare at me. I couldn't stand to have all those people staring at me, like I am some kind of weirdo." Coping Strategy #1 Shift How You Think About It
Coping Strategy#2 Do Something Embarrassing, On Purpose, and See What Happens
I experimented with this myself once, quite by accident! A friend and I were walking in an upscale downtown area, where nobody sits on the sidewalk. While crossing the street, I tripped over a pothole and landed on my knee. It was very painful. I let out a little scream, and hobbled back to the sidewalk. My friend and I sat down in the grass just in front of the sidewalk. I was crying. A young woman appeared with a bag of ice for my knee. She had seen it happen from a few doors down, and asked the staff at a nearby restaurant for ice for me. Nobody else seemed to notice me sitting there crying! People went about their business as though I were not there. Fear of Having a Panic Attack on an Airplane "What if I have a panic attack on the plane, and my seat mate notices? They will think I am crazy!" Coping Strategy#1 Observe Your Thoughts and Consider Shifting Them
Coping Strategy#2 Ask for Support
Fear of Having a Panic Attack While In a Restaurant with Friends "What if I have a panic attack in the restaurant, and have to leave, or it causes a scene? I couldn't stand all that attention, with everyone staring at me." Coping Strategy#1 Ask for Support
Coping Strategy#2 Have a Plan for Calming Yourself Privately
Coping Strategy#3 Have an Exit Plan
In Conclusion I hope these few tips will get you thinking about ways to be able to keep getting out there, and not becoming a shut in over fear of embarrassing yourself. So no matter what worse case scenario you imagine, ask yourself if this fear really justifies cancelling your plans and staying home. Hopefully your answer would be, "Being embarrassed won't kill me. Being embarrassed is something I am willing to risk, in order to get out there and do things." Take the Next Step If you struggle with anxiety and panic, take the next step now. Call me at (310) 658-3158 to discuss how we could work together. Panic attacks are very treatable. This article is not meant to replace therapy. It is meant to give some hope and some ideas about how others have overcome their fear of embarrassment over possible panic attacks in public. Kate Boswell MFT is a therapist in Marina del Rey, CA. 90292. She helps anxious young men and women become calmer and more confident. She helps adults of all ages who are struggling with stressful life situations. Kate is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic.# MFC20851. Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Culver City, Venice, and Westchester. Kate may be reached at (310) 658-3158. Does your anxiety skyrocket during the Holiday stress time of year? You are not alone. Many people become anxious and stressed during the Holidays.
A couple years ago, my friend and colleague, Michelle E. Vasquez, LPC, interviewed me on her Blog Talk Radio show to talk about coping with anxiety during the Holidays. What follows are excerpts from the interview. What is it about the Holidays that gets us so stressed out? A few things. It is not always the happy time it is cracked up to be. We think something is wrong with us if our holidays are not fitting the image we have of everyone else's holiday. We may be traveling to see family and dealing with crowded airports, or the stress of preparing to be off on vacation from work. Going back to see family may trigger old hurts. We are busier than usual, with shopping and getting together with others. We pressure ourselves to buy the perfect presents, host the perfect party, or bring the perfect potluck item. Does Holiday stress affect some people more than others? Yes. People who have had recent losses... of a loved one, a job, their health...Single people who are not comfortable being single, and wish they had that special someone to enjoy the holidays with. People who are struggling financially and feeling pressured to buy presents for everyone. People who tend to become depressed or anxious can become more vulnerable to an episode of depression or panic during this stressful time. People who are naturally shy or introverted. Since the Holiday season is just over a month long or so, starting with Thanksgiving and ending with the New Year, why not just ride the wave and recuperate afterward? Why get stressed out about the stress? The idea isn't to get stressed out about the stress, but to get informed about how it affects us, and make choices to lessen it. Stress, if not dealt with, can affect our immune systems, not a good idea during a season that coincides with cold and flu season. Stress can make us irritable, and thus wreak havoc with our relationships. It can leave us feeling too tired or uptight to enjoy the holidays. If we have a tendency toward anxiety or depression, stress can cause more depression, more anxiety. Stress can lead us to eat or drink more than we wanted to, further weakening our immune systems and our moods. What are some ways we can lessen stress during the Holidays? There are three main ways: We can change our thinking, we can choose different behaviors, and we can make lifestyle changes to reduce stress. What are some ways we can change our thinking? We can interpret things in a more positive, or at least more realistic, way. Not to deny that we feel unhappy about things, but to choose a perspective toward reducing stress. For example, if money is the challenge, we can welcome the opportunity to scale down and enjoy simpler things. We can be glad we don't have to go to the crowded and noisy malls to buy presents! We can enjoy being creative, finding meaningful ways to celebrate and share with the people who matter. If we are thinking everyone else is having fun except us, we might decide to realize that all we really know is what people present. They may look happy in their family letter and pictures, or in their Facebook posts. But who really knows? Everyone has problems of some type, and some are better than others at presenting a happy image to the world. If we are feeling lonely and miserable without a special someone, we can reinterpret this as an opportunity to get to know ourselves better, and find ways to enjoy life without a mate. We can look around at couples who don't seem to be enjoying themselves so much, and realize that having someone is no guarantee of happiness. We could still look forward to hopefully having a special someone in the future, while deciding not to be miserable with ourselves in the meantime. If visiting our nutty families is what stresses us out, we can decide to stop expecting that it will be different this time, and just take things as they are. After all, why should they be different this visit than on past visits? Would it be realistic to think so? Much disappointment can be avoided by not having that expectation. What are some of the behaviors we can choose, to lower stress? This would go along with changing our thinking, our perspective, and choosing not to react in a knee jerk way. Not assuming the worst, but reframing something first, and responding accordingly. For example, if you have decided to take a break from pining away for a special someone, you may decide to go to some get togethers alone to enjoy socializing, or take a trip with a group such as the Sierra Club or some local group you know of. You never know, you could meet that special someone that way. Just don't pressure yourself to make that the goal of socializing. Better to go in with an open, curious mind, ready to enjoy the activity and the people. If you decided to scale back and not spend money you don't have, then you would act on that by brainstorming and discovering affordable ways to give gifts. If you decided to lower stress by being less busy, you would then choose behaviors to support that. You may decide to do all your shopping online, or give gifts from one favorite store, such as a bookstore. You may decide to pick up that potluck item at a deli on the way, rather than preparing that perfect but time consuming dish. What are some lifestyle choices we can make to lower stress? We can eat a reasonably balanced diet most of the time, enjoying the special treats in moderation. We can exercise regularly, even if just a daily walk around the block. That is a proven stress buster and mood lifter. We can choose not to overindulge in alcohol, sweets, or caffeine. We can practice some form of relaxation exercise, most days, if not daily. What are some examples of relaxation exercises? Simple breathing exercises, especially abdominal breathing. Mindfulness exercises, such as paying focused attention to one activity at a time, gently bringing your attention back when it wanders. Walking peacefully in nature, or even in a park or tree lined street, noticing your surroundings. Sitting quietly and having a pleasant daydream, about some lovely place, indoors or outdoors, that you have visited, or created in your imagination. This can be your "safe space" when you are feeling frazzled and just nee a little break. Where would someone learn these relaxation exercises? There are many good self help books. I like The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh, and The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. Some communities have various meditation, yoga, or Tai chi classes available. Some therapists, such as myself, will teach relaxation exercises to their clients as part of their therapy, or offer stress and anxiety management groups. How can listeners get more training on this from you? If they are in the Los Angeles area, they can come to one of my Anxiety and Stress Management Training Workshops in Marina del Rey. They can also schedule a one on one session with me. They can call me at (310) 658-3158 to sign up for a workshop or schedule an individual session. I also do phone sessions with people who are too far away from my Marina del Rey office for in-person sessions. Welcome to my newly revised Anxiety website and blog. If you are a returning visitor, or if you found your way here through a search engine which may have displayed "cached" search results, you may be wondering, "What happened to all those anxiety posts that used to be here?" "Where is that anxiety post that was listed on a search result?"
I have just recently rebuilt my website on a platform that is more user friendly and more mobile friendly. Instead of copying and pasting all the posts over to this revised site, I have decided to make a fresh start. I will be editing and typing them in, one by one, over a period of time. You can look forward to reading posts here on a variety of topics related to anxiety. Following is a partial list of topics:
If there is a topic related to anxiety that you are particularly interested in, and would like to read my take on it here in a blog post, feel free to email me your suggestion. My email address is on the contact page of this website. |
AuthorKate Boswell MFT is a therapist in Marina del Rey, Ca, 90292. Archives
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