How to Cope With The Fear of Having a Panic Attack in Public

​​Do you worry that you would die of embarrassment if you had a panic attack in front of other people?

​Panic attacks can seem to come out of the blue. When and where the next panic attack might strike can be unpredictable.

Understandably, you fear that it could happen in public, and that it would be extremely embarrassing for you. 

The fear of being embarrassed could be even more frightening than the fear of the panic attack itself.

This fear might cause you to limit your activities, staying home more and more, or only getting out in situations where you feel very safe.

Going this route can become a slippery slope toward agoraphobia. Your life would become more and more closed in. You would miss out on so much of what life has to offer. 

It doesn't have to be this way. I specialize in helping people with anxiety and panic.

Here I will share a few tips on getting over embarrassment. These tips could give you ideas for getting out more, in spite of your anxious fears. 

Change How You Think About Panic and Being Embarrassed

• ​Fretting over "what if" scenarios, the mind can go into overdrive, imagining worse case scenarios that may not ever happen.
• It may be helpful to simply ask yourself, "How likely is that to happen?" and "If it did, could I find a way to deal with it?"
  
• This is the number one tip that is most helpful in planning for all situations. 

​Following are a few scenarios that some people fear a panic attack could happen in, and their fear of how it could embarrass them. Each example will include a coping strategy or two, for that situation. 

Fear of Having  a Panic Attack While Walking Down the Street

​"What if I am walking down the street and have a panic attack? What if I get lightheaded and my legs get all rubbery, and I feel like I will pass out? I will have to sit down, and everyone will stare at me. I couldn't stand to have all those people staring at me, like I am some kind of weirdo."

Coping Strategy #1  Shift How You Think About It

• ​You could ask yourself how likely it would be that you would have a panic attack, and how likely it would be that everyone would stare at you.
• You could ask yourself if you could somehow deal with everyone staring at you, if indeed, they did.
• ​You could ask yourself, if you are such a mind reader, if you know for a fact that they would think you are weird.
• Is it possible they would feel concerned, and  would watch to make sure you are able to get back up on your own, before they offer help?

Coping Strategy#2  Do Something Embarrassing, On Purpose, and See What Happens

• ​Is it possible that nobody would stare? Is it possible that people are going about their business and don't really notice or think it unusual that someone would sit down?
•  To test this out, you could go  for a walk in public and see if there are places to sit down.
• You could  try sitting down for a little bit to see if anyone notices.
• This could  help stop your worry that it would be embarrassing.
• Chelsea tried that one time.  She went into a downtown area and simply sat down on the curb. Nobody seemed to notice, as far as she could tell. If anyone did look at her out of the corner of their eye, she did not notice. 
• After that little experiment, Chelsea was able to go downtown regularly, to shop, eat, or go to the movies. She didn't have any panic attacks downtown. 

​I experimented with this myself once, quite by accident! A friend and I were walking in an upscale downtown area, where nobody sits on the sidewalk.

While crossing the street, I tripped over a pothole and landed on my knee. It was very painful.  I let out a little scream, and  hobbled back to the sidewalk. My friend and I sat down in the grass just in front of the sidewalk. I was crying.

A young woman appeared with a bag of ice for my knee. She had seen it happen from a few doors down, and asked the staff at a nearby restaurant for ice for me.

Nobody else seemed to notice me sitting there crying! People went about their business as though I were not there.

Fear of Having a Panic Attack on an Airplane

​"What if I have a panic attack on the plane, and my seat mate notices? They will think I am crazy!"

Coping Strategy#1 Observe Your Thoughts and Consider Shifting Them

• ​You could ask yourself what your particular type of panic attacks look like and how likely it is that your seat mate would notice.
• You may feel like you are going crazy and that anyone could see that. But maybe your private suffering is not even noticeable to others.
• They may not notice your heart racing, or your hands trembling, or that you are breathing faster.
• If they do, maybe they just figure you are anxious about flying, like a lot of people. 

Coping Strategy#2 Ask for Support

• ​Some people who struggle with anxiety and panic will tell their seat mate up front that they get nervous about flying.
• Maybe that could work for you too.  Then it will be out in the open, and you will find out what your seat mate thinks.
• ​Chances are, they might become a helpful ally, who could distract you with conversation, if that is what you want.
• They may offer understanding, and tell you that someone they know also struggles with anxiety when they fly.

​Fear of Having a Panic Attack While In a Restaurant with Friends

​"What if I have a panic attack in the restaurant, and have to leave, or it causes a scene? I couldn't stand all that attention, with everyone staring at me."

Coping Strategy#1 Ask for Support

• ​You could tell your friends ahead of time that you worry about having a panic attack in the restaurant.
• That could lead to your friends expressing concern and support, and asking how they could help, if it did happen.
• ​That in itself could dispel the fear of embarrassment, and take the edge off the anxiety.
• It could lead to a more relaxed dinner over all, and make a panic attack less likely to happen.

Coping Strategy#2 Have a Plan for Calming Yourself Privately

• Know that you  are not trapped at the table, and that it is okay to leave the table for a little while, for a private moment of calming yourself.
• You might plan to get up and go to the restroom, just to get a little break from the situation. Then you could do some calming breaths, or do a little stretching to relax your self. 
• Your calming plan could include a very important call on your cell phone, that you notice just at the moment that you need a break. Then you can step outside for a few minutes for a change of scenery and perspective. 

Coping Strategy#3 Have an Exit Plan

• You could give yourself  permission to leave if you need to,  telling your  friends you are suddenly ill.
• This is a plan of last resort, if all else fails.
• Having that plan could make it easier for you to go to the restaurant with friends, instead of staying safe and sound at home. 

In Conclusion

​I hope these few tips will get you thinking about ways to be able to keep getting out there, and not becoming a shut in over fear of embarrassing yourself.

​So no matter what worse case scenario you imagine, ask yourself if this fear really justifies cancelling your plans and staying home.

Hopefully your answer would be, "Being embarrassed won't kill me. Being embarrassed is something I am willing to risk, in order to get out there and do things."

Take the Next Step

If you struggle with anxiety and panic, take the next step now. Call me at (310) 658-3158 to discuss how we could work together. 

​Panic attacks are very treatable. This article is not meant to replace therapy. It is meant to give some hope and some ideas about how others have overcome their fear of embarrassment over possible panic attacks in public.

​Kate Boswell MFT is a therapist in Marina del Rey, CA. 90292. She helps anxious young men and women become calmer and more confident. She helps adults of all ages who are struggling with stressful life situations. Kate is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Lic.# MFC20851. Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Del Rey, Mar Vista, Culver City, Venice, and Westchester. Kate may be reached at (310) 658-3158.