3 Ways to Cope with Your Anxiety over "No More Mask Mandates"

Are you feeling anxious and afraid about living in a world without mask mandates?
If you are, it is understandable.
There are quite a few areas that many people are concerned about.
 
Maybe some of these apply to you?

• You wonder if the lifting of mandates was based more on politics than on public health.

 

• You may have a suppressed immune system.

 

• You may have a condition which could cause you to become seriously ill with COVID, in spite of being fully vaccinated.

 

• You may have older relatives, and worry that they would become seriously ill if they got COVID.

 

• You may have small children at home, too young to be vaccinated.

 

• You keep hearing or reading news stories about people getting

            sick with COVID, even if they are fully vaccinated and boosted.
 
Maybe none of these apply to you, but you have other reasons to be concerned.
It is possible to be concerned, yet not overcome with anxiety, about life in this unmasked world.
 
Here are a few ways to tame your anxiety:
Three strategies will be presented.
 They are: focus on what you have control over; stop “shoulding”; and deal with the facts of what is.
 
 
 
Focus on what you have control over
Here are a few things you may have control over:

• whether or not to wear a mask yourself.

 

• keeping up to date with the recommendations of public health authorities.

 

•  following the recommendations of public health authorities as best you can.

 

•  whether to enter public spaces where people are not wearing masks and where proof of vaccination is not required.

 

•  who you allow into your home, based on their vaccination status and/or willingness to wear a mask.

 

•  assessing the level of risk for specific situations, and deciding whether it is worth the risk to you.

 
There is no guarantee that following public health guidelines will prevent you from getting sick.

It is true that many people are getting sick in spite of following the guidelines to the best of their ability.

 However, current statistics show that those who became seriously ill are those who have not had a booster shot.

If you are fully vaccinated and boosted, and taking steps to protect yourself, it is possible to enjoy life more, and worry less.
 
Even though there is no guarantee you will not get COVID, you may be able to tame your anxiety about it, and enjoy life more.
 
Here are a few things other people are doing, which you might find to be helpful and within your control:
 

•  doing their grocery shopping online again, with home delivery or curbside pickup.

 

•  doing their own grocery shopping, while wearing a mask and only going when it is not crowded, so there is plenty of space between them and others.

 

•  enjoying visits to movie theaters and eateries which require proof of vaccination.

 
They are able to see these as safer situations, and really enjoy themselves without worrying about what other people are doing.
 
Let Go of your “Shoulds” and Focus on “What Is”
 
“Shoulding” is a word that was coined by Albert Ellis.
 
 He was the originator of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy (REBT), which was a precursor to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
 
Albert Ellis said that when we try to impose our “shoulds” on others, or “shoulding” on them, we are setting unrealistic expectations, and setting ourselves up for disappointment.
 
It also sets us up for resenting and demonizing others, and increasing our own feelings of anxiety or depression.
 
It is more realistic to have preferences, and to realize the world just might not give you what you prefer.
 
Maybe you would prefer to live in a world where everyone is fully vaccinated, and everyone wears a mask when needed for public health.
 
If you turn your preference into a “should,” and think “they should do this” and “they should do that,” you will likely only become more upset and feel more powerless.
 
One of the hallmarks of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for anxiety and depression is to become aware of your “shoulds” and change them.
 
Everyone “shoulds” on themselves and others. It is something to become aware of. It is not something to beat yourself up over.
 
The “shoulds” look something like this:

• “Everyone should have stayed in lock down when they were told to.”

 

• “Everyone should have worn masks once they became recommended.”

 

• “We should not still be in a pandemic; it is the fault of those who did not follow the rules.”

 

• “The government should have taken stronger steps immediately, to prevent this from getting so out of hand.”

 

• “When masks were optional for vaccinated people only, the unvaccinated should have kept their masks on.”

 

• “Now that masks are optional, everyone should wear them anyway until the pandemic is over.”

 

• “People should not be so selfish.”

 

• “People should care more about people more vulnerable than themselves, and wear a mask to protect them from their germs.”

 
Just reading this list can stir up anger about what you think people should have done.

“Shoulding” about what others do can send you on a downward spiral of resenting and demonizing them.

This can lead to you feeling stuck and powerless.

Try letting go of the “shoulds” and try to interpret other people’s acts in a more factual, less demonizing, less upsetting way.

Here are a few facts to consider:

• The fact is that people are people.

 

• People will interpret situations according to their own belief systems.

 

• Many had misinformation and based their choices on that. 

 

• Many saw it as a political issue and not a public health issue.

 

• Many believed that any government mandates infringed on their own personal rights to freedom to make their own health decisions.

 
 

• Many people have a deep distrust of the government, scientists, and pharmaceutical companies.

 
Historically, during other pandemics or epidemics, there were also anti-maskers who protested. So this is really nothing new.
 
This is the reality we are faced with. None of this can be undone.
 
Conclusion:
 
There is no guarantee that you will not get COVID even if you follow all the public health guidelines.
 
But…
You just might have less anxiety and enjoy life more, if you focus on what is within your control and stop “shoulding.”
 
If you are to face an unmasked world, without undue anxiety, it would be best to accept the facts as they are.
By focusing more on the facts of “what is” than on your “shoulds,” you could free up your energy to make decisions about situations within your control.
By focusing on making decisions about dealing with what is, you are more likely to have less anxiety as you face this unmasked world. 
 

Take the Next Step:
If you are struggling with anxiety or panic, and want professional help, contact me to discuss how we might work together.
 
I offer free 15 minute phone consults to people living in California, to see if we are a good fit to work together.
 
I offer Walk and Talk therapy sessions in person in Marina de Rey, Ca.
 
I offer telephone therapy sessions throughout all of California, which is the state I am licensed in.
 
Credit cards, Debit cards, and HSA cards are accepted
 
 
Kate Boswell LMFT is a therapist in Marina del Rey, CA. She helps anxious young men and women become calmer and more confident. She helps adults of all ages who are struggling with stressful life changes.
 
Nearby communities served are Playa del Rey, Playa Vista, Venice, Mar Vista, Del Rey, Culver City, and Westchester.
 
Kate Boswell is licensed by the state of California as a Marriage and Family Therapist, License No. LMFT 20851. Contact Kate at (310) 658-3158.
 
Disclaimer/Terms of Use: This website and blog was authored by Kate Boswell LMFT for informational and educational purposes. It is not intended to replace any medical diagnoses or treatment. Nothing on these pages, or pages they link to, shall be construed as medical advice.